Who said poetry is boring

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
These describe everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I 'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING? And most certainly nobody is going to say dangdut is not art.

The reason we lost Pulau Batu Putih...?

According to Spanish ranking system, Webometric Ranking of World Universities, the Top 10 universities in South-East of Asia are:

1. NATIONAL UNIVERSITY OF SINGAPORE
2. NANYANG TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY
3. KASETSART UNIVERSITY
4. CHULALONGKORN UNIVERSITY
5. PRINCE OF SONGKLA UNIVERSITY
6. ASIAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY THAILAND
7. CHIANG MAI UNIVERSITY
8. THAMMASAT UNIVERSITY
9. ASSUMPTION UNIVERSITY OF THAILAND
10. KHON KAEN UNIVERSITY

Out of the top 10 ranking South East Asia universities, two are from Singapore, and the balance eight universities are from Thailand. Also, on the Top 100 list, Thailand has 41 universities, Myanmar 18, Indonesia 14, the Philippines 13, and Singapore seven.

In Asia, the Top 10 universities are:

1. UNIVERSITY OF TOKYO
2. NATIONAL TAIWAN UNIVERSITY
3. KYOTO UNIVERSITY
4. BEIJING UNIVERSITY
5. KEIO UNIVERSITY
6. NATIONAL UNIVERSITY OF SINGAPORE
7. UNIVERSITY OF HONG KONG
8. CHINESE UNIVERSITY OF HONG KONG
9. NATIONAL CHIAO TUNG UNIVERSITY
10. NAGOYA UNIVERSITY

Out of the Top 10 ranking universities in ASIA, four are from Japan, five are from China, and the remaining one is from Singapore.

In terms of Global Ranking, none of Malaysia's universities are anywhere near the top 1,000.

Well, the fact speaks for itself! Thailand, Myanmar, Indonesia, Philippines, and Singapore are way ahead of Malaysia. And we are still under the delusion that the Philippines and Indonesia are just countries producing maids, musicians and cheap labourers.

And much as we despise that tiny dot south of Johore, the fact is we couldn't match wits with them and lost Pulau Batu Putih and the economic zones that go with owning what seemed like an insignificant lighthouse. Maybe we could have won if we had argued that Pulau Batu Putih looked like our island, sound like our island, and so must be our island.

Thousands of Visitors Expected at Ratchapruek Festival 2009

More than 200,000 visitors are expected to attend a grand festival designed to celebrate and honour His Majesty the King, now the world’s longest reigning monarch, who will be celebrating his 82nd birthday on 5 December, 2009.

The opening ceremony will be held on 1 December, but the entire festival will run from 30 November – 10 December, 2009, at the Ratchaphruek 2006 Garden in the northern Thai city of Chiang Mai. His Majesty the King ascended the throne in June 1946 and was coronated in May 1950.

Organised by the Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT), Ministry of Agriculture and Cooperatives, and Chiang Mai Provincial Administration, the festival is expected to attract thousands of Thais, expatriate residents of Thailand, and international visitors to the northern region of Thailand.

Mrs. Juthaporn Rerngronasa, TAT Deputy Governor for Marketing Communications, said “TAT is very proud to host such a magnificent event for our beloved King. The event is designed to honour His Majesty the King and to publicise and promote tourism to Northern Thailand, especially the “Ratchaphruek 2006” Garden. It fits in perfectly with our plans to diversify our range of destinations, spread visitors around the country, and raise the incomes of rural people.”

The festival will help boost domestic tourism, raise hotel occupancies in Chiang Mai, and give extensive exposure to North Thailand, projected to be a bridgehead for Thailand’s future economic development plans and linkages with the Greater Mekong Subregion.

The official opening ceremony will be on 1 December, 2009, with welcoming parades from all four regions of Thailand. Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva will deliver the opening address and then join the people in releasing 999 Kom Loi (Sky Lanterns). This will be followed by Thai classical dances from the four regions with 99 performers from each region.

The number nine is considered lucky for the Thai people. A slight variation of its pronunciation also means “progress” or “advancement” in Thai.

The grandest part of the festival will be held on His Majesty’s birthday on 5 December, with the lighting of thousands of candles, offering of prayers and blessings for his continued good health, and singing of congratulatory songs, followed by a magnificent display of fireworks and a light and sound show.

Throughout the festival, visitors will be able to enjoy a wonderful horticultural exhibition of flowers, trees and fruits, and sales and competitions of agri-products, handicrafts and village-made souvenirs. Orchid lovers will find this festival a particular delight.

The Ratchaphruek Garden was originally built for the Royal Flora Ratchaphruek 2006, an international horticultural expo, held in the northern Thai city of Chiang Mai as part of the celebrations commemorating the 60th Anniversary of His Majesty the King’s Accession to the Throne. Roughly 2.5 million plants and flowers, including some rare species of orchids, were on display at the expo and received over two million visitors.

Chiang Mai is the economic, communications, cultural, and tourism centre of Northern Thailand. In recent years, it has undergone considerable economic development but still retains its historic heritage. It is also becoming increasingly well-known as a centre of traditional Thai massage, meditation, spas, health, and wellness.

Today, Chiang Mai is served by Thai Airways International, Bangkok Airways, Nok Air, Thai AirAsia, Silk Air, Lao Airlines, China Airlines, and Korean Air.

At the same time, the Asian Highway network now taking shape throughout Southeast Asia will, in the not too distant future, link Singapore with Kunming, via both Bangkok and Chiang Mai.

The city is also winning international magazine awards for its charm and lifestyle. The Ratchaphruek Garden continues to be a major tourist spot.

In addition, a number of the “Royal Initiative Discovery” projects which highlight the sufficiency economic concept of His Majesty the King are located in Northern Thailand, and are well-worth checking out.

Performances on the Main Stage
1-10 December, 2009
Tuesday, 1 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs. Opening ceremony and cultural show from the four regions

Wednesday, 2 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs. Drum performance and music from the four regions

Thursday, 3 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs. Folk shows from the four regions

Friday, 4 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs. Jazz music (Royal Compositions of His Majesty the King)

Saturday, 5 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs.

Candle-lighting ceremony in honour of His Majesty the King, 999 fireworks, and Thai folk music

Sunday, 6 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs. Thai folk music (from the northern and northeastern region) and the champion from the Ching Cha Sawan TV programme

Monday, 7 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs. Thai folk music (from the South and Central region)

Tuesday, 8 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs. Orchestra, folk songs, and light-and-sound music show (Lopburi Sri Nakorn Ping Chiang Mai)

Wednesday, 9 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs. Khon “Phra Ram Khrong Mueang”

Thursday, 10 December, 2009
18.00-22.00 hrs. Thai Puppet and International Puppet Show

Contact information:
International Public Relations Division
Tourism Authority of Thailand
Tel: +66 (0) 2250 5500 ext. 4545-48
Fax: +66 (0) 2253 7419
E-mail: prdiv3@tat.or.th
Web site: www.tatnews.org

Dealing with the Big "C"

In 1988, my grandaunt died of lung cancer. She was 79 and was a smoker for a better part of her life. In the early 1990s I lost a young cousin to muscle cancer. He died at the age of three. He was never a smoker. About 10 years later I lost a friend to nasal cancer. He was also not a smoker and died before he reached 50. Notice how people tend to associate smoking with cancer and notice how two out of three people may not be smoking but did actually succumb to the disease.

I think most of us had at some point or another lost a dear one or at least an acquaintance to the Big "C". In the old days, treatment of cancer was only chemotherapy, but now John Hopkins Hospital is telling you there is an alternative way. And below I quote the report:-

Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumours. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumour size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumour destruction. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.


WHAT CANCER CELLS FEED ON:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal,Spoonful etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intes tina l tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soya milk, cancer cells are being starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to no urish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties.Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic build-up. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Floressence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, hatred and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

Husband for Sale

HUSBANDS FOR SALE !

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!


There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.


The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.


The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids and are extremely good looking.


'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:


Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.


'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:


Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.


She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:


Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Lantern Festival

Nov 1, 2009 - Feb 28, 2010
17:00 - 23:00 Hrs
Hatyai City Municipality Park, Amphur Hatyai, Songkhla, Thailand

A "Lantern Festival" is going to be organized again at Hatyai City Municipality Park, Hatyai, Songkhla from Nov 1, 2009 until Feb 28, 2010. Colorful lanterns will illuminate the park with 9-brand-new wonderful lanterns.

Ice Lantern from Harbin of People's Republic of China
Hatyai City Municipality Office with support from Ministry of Culture, People's Republic of China, Embassy of People's Republic of China in Thailand and Tourism Authority of Thailand organize Ice lanterns which will be set in a -30 degree Celsius Ice Dome and established on display on Dec 5, 2009 onwards until Feb 28, 2010 from 11:00-22:00 hrs in celebration of the 35th Anniversary of Sino-Thai Diplomatic Relationship.

Amazing Colorful Lanterns of 14 Southern Provinces
Lanterns of 14 Southern Provinces will be featured with colorful lanterns featuring goodies of southern provinces: Chumphon, Ranong, Surat Thani, Phangnga, Phuket, Krabi, Nakhon Sri Thammarat, Phatthalung, Trang, Satun, Songkhla, Pattani, Yala, and Narathiwat, emphasising on the forms of well-known fruits, animals, and culture.

Lantern of the 4 Regions of Thailand
View the lanterns in the theme of "Auspicious Life and Community" from all 4 regions of Thailand.

The North: "Mom"
Mom or Singha Mom was an animal in Himmapan forest (legendary forest), looked like a cat, tiger, and lion. It was a vehicle of the God of Rain.
The Central: Erawan -3 headed elephant
In Buddhist legend, Erawan was believed to be an angel who usually transformed himself into a giant white-elephant with 3 heads each of which had 7 tasks which was 16 millions meters long for each one. Erawan, the 3-headed elephant was the strongest and powerful elephant and was the symbol of prosperity and peace of the nation.
The Northeast: Naga
Naga was a huge crested serpent, a symbol of mightiness and productivity. Naga was also the symbol of rainbow stairs to the universe. Naga was the God of Water.
The South: Kinnari
Kinnari, including Kinnara, was a Himmapan forest's flying creature, half-human and half-bird. It was the symbol of luck.

Fantasy Small World
The Fantasy Small World is the lanterns featuring children's imagination where fantasy and imaginative creations mingle.

International Lantern
Each country has its own national flower which absolutely represents good meaning. National flower of various countries in the form of lanterns will be very spectacular, Sakura from Japan, Lotus from Vietnam and India, Plum flower from China, Jasmine from Philippines, Hibicus from Malaysia, Rose of Sharon from Korea, and Ratchapruek from Thailand.

Animal Planet
Lanterns of Animal Planet will display 3 groups of animals categories by zone. Zone of Africa comprises of lion, hippopotamus, zebra, and African elephant. Zone of Amazon comprises of crocodile and gorilla. Zone of North Pole comprises of Polar Bear, penguin, seal, and whale.

Into the Mythology, Floating Lanterns
Featuring creatures of auspiciousness from global mythologies.

Dragon and Pi Xiu: Chinese sacred creatures.
Dragon is regarded as a god in Chinese belief, it is a symbol of auspiciousness and the sign of the emperor. Pi Xiu is a deer living in heaven. It only has mouth to take in without any hole to pass out anything, which is why it is believed that it's good for commerce, only getting without spending.

Phoenix: Korean and Ancient Egyptian sacred creatures.
Phoenix is a firebird which has power of healing, resurrection, and encourage stimulation. Phoenix is a symbol of eternity.

Unicorn: a European legendary creature.
It is believed to be found in the northern forest of Europe. It looks like a graceful white horse with significant long horn at the middle of forehead. Unicorn is a symbol of purity, whiteness, strength, and gentry.

Tiger: an Asian auspicious power
Tiger is a symbol of power and reverence since the ancient times especially in Asian culture, tiger is one of the 12 Chinese Zodiacs. The coming 2010 is the year of tiger.

Highlight Lanterns
Highlight lanterns on display will be according to the significant events and festivals of Thailand such as Loi Krathong, National Father's Day, New Year Festival, Children's Day, Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year Day, Tourist Season festival, etc.

Lantern Contest
Other lanterns representing academies, tourist business operators, department stores, etc. will be on display for a contest.

In addition, food fairs and a variety of performances and entertainment will be available, including shows and performances from the 10 provinces of China on Feb 17, 2010.

For more information visit www.hatyailantern.com or call TAT Hotline 1672.

I have to send my daughter to tuition, I have to fetch my son from taekwando

It took me 48 years to realise I am actually a hopeless romantic. Romantic because contrary to popular belief I did ask somebody to marry me. The hopeless part was where she decided not to marry me. That had since put me off any idea of proposing to another girl ever again. It is my belief that when she spoke, she had spoken for all womankind. There's no particular reason whatsoever to doubt her judgment on the matter.

On the benefit of hindsight, I must say that that must have been one of the weakest moments in my life. I still couldn't quite figure out why on earth I had contemplated trading a carefree and unattached life for that of a husband. And god forbid, limit myself to a single partner for life. Must be the romantic side of the Gemini.

To be fair in all of 52 years I had only been in love with three women. That works out to about one every one and a half decades. Not bad at all if I say so myself. Of course we shall not take into account that I was also in love with three different Miss Universes, all of them from Venezuela. We shall also not take into account actresses such as Traci Lords, Ginger Lynn and Maria Ozawa. And a little closer to home there was one known as Natt Chanapa

But I digress. Marriage is certainly not an institution to be taken lightly. Before one decides to be institutionalised one has to take into account whether one can pay for the running of the institution and the upkeep of the inmates that would surely follow very closely.

So I suppose the best thing the girl had ever done for me was to say "NO" and bring me to my senses. While one side of Gemini may have been a weakling and heart-broken for a while at the rejection, the other wasn't. But both sides of the Gemini character, however, gladly agree that having been rejected once, there is absolutely no necessity to have repeat performances even when the lead actress may change.

I must add that I have also discovered one downside to not being married. I will, for example, not be able to say, "Sorry I am late. Had to take my daughter to tuition class." Or "I had to pick up my son from taekwando practice." Things which other fathers may take for granted but which I may never be privileged to experience.

And to all those would-be match-makers out there who said I don't know what I am missing by not getting hitched, I would like to say that I have already come to a realisation. You mean the tuition class and taekwando practice, right?

Of course there was one embarrassing incident which happened several years ago while I was at the the launch of a trade fair. You know how it is when strangers make small talk. The question used to be, "Are you married?"

But this time there was a twist to it. This man who I had just met instead asked, "Are your children still studying or are they working now?" Goodness me, do I look domesticated?

Well, what can I say except, "Well, I am not sure. But I think the bastards must be working by now..."